this boner is exhausting
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
