u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
