oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
