Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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