i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
