just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how do flat chested girls get laid?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
