you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
