am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
