Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
