I want to stick my p in your. b.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
