Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
