therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
