i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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