It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
