you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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