He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
