A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
