I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
