I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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