I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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