found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
