It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
