giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Less talking, more tequila
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
