she woke up with a sticky ear
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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