he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
