we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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