I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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