When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
