His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
