I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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