We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
