she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
