I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
