You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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