Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
