So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
