Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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