Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
