Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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