Kiss
Puke
My nipple is on Facebook.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
