It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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