Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
