Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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