i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
