Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize