Barsexuality is the new black.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
