"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
