Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize