At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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