I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
