I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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