i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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