Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I smell stomach acid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have fence marks all over my body
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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