In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
