I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize