would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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