That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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