I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
