Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
did i just pee glitter
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
