yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize