I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
